Real Life Stories
Her lover was leading a secret life and on every weekend she thought he was working he was in fact with his other family
Deep pain: Gemma still feels furious
When mum Gemma Hawthorne found a colourful “Happy Daddy’s Day” card poking out from under a mat in her partner’s car, she naturally assumed it was a present from their little girl.
But as she opened it, she was stunned to see that neither of the two names scrawled inside was her daughter’s.
Heart pounding, she confronted Kye, her partner of five years, but he insisted it must have been dropped by a friend.
Fears assuaged, Gemma forgot all about it. After all, they were a happy family.
Only a few months later, Gemma, 31, found out it had been a lie.
The card belonged to Kye, who not only had two other children but was also a married man.
Her lover was leading a secret life and on every weekend she thought he was working he was in fact with his other family.
Seven months on, Gemma is still in shock and confused by how she suspected nothing for the five years they were together.
“It’s like something from Hollyoaks – I never thought anything like this would happen to me,” she says.
“It makes me shudder how he could so coolly do what he did. It’s frightening you can be so close to someone but never really know them at all.”
Cuddle: Couple pose for the camera
And while she now feels Kye was a “stranger”, she remembers feeling instantly attracted to him when they first met on a night out in Hastings, East Sussex.
“He wasn’t my usual type looks-wise but there was something about him that just connected,” she says.
“When my friends moved on I even stayed to talk to him. When I went to find my friends he and I agreed to meet up again.”
Before long, Gemma and Kye were seeing each other a few times a week.
Gemma says: “The first couple of times were at the weekend but Kye’s job on the railways meant that he usually worked Saturday and Sunday. Then we started meeting up during the week. He’d come over to my house and we’d have a takeaway.”
Their relationship developed quickly and within months Kye had moved in.
She says: “He had no furniture, no CDs – just a holdall of clothes. Looking back, I can see it was odd but I was relieved he wasn’t a hoarder like me.”
And Kye, 34, gave Gemma no other reason to be suspicious.
“We did all the usual things like dinner out, the cinema – we had a nice relationship,” says Gemma.
“It was frustrating that he wasn’t around at the weekends but I understood that his job meant unsociable hours.
“We’d be together all week and then at about 3am on Saturday he’d leave and come back Sunday night or Monday afternoon.”
Smile: Gemma and Kye at family party
Gemma’s family also liked Kye, although she never met any of his relatives.
“He’d come to my parents’ for dinner and he loved spending time with them – but when it came to his own family he had no contact,” she says.
“He never really spoke about his past. When I asked about it he said he’d wanted to get away and have a fresh start.”
When Gemma found out she was pregnant in September 2008 she was thrilled.
She says: “I felt so happy when the doctor told me. I was the right age, with the right guy. When I told Kye, he looked at me in complete shock. But then he got up and gave me a cuddle.
“He kept saying how amazing it would be to have our own family. I assumed his initial shock was man nerves.”
Over the following nine months, Gemma and Kye busily prepared for their new arrival – which Gemma believed was a first for both of them.
“He was there for scans and was really attentive. We were both excited about starting a family together,” she says.
And when baby Emma – whose name we have changed – was born in May 2009, Kye was by Gemma’s side.
“It took me a while to recover and Kye took time off and looked after me,” she recalls. “I felt lucky to have an amazing partner, with a house and a little girl.
“I didn’t want to get married. All we wanted was to get a house together and go on nice holidays, which we never managed because of his work.
"Looking back I can see now that our relationship wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. We never saw friends. It was just us two a lot. At Christmas I always accepted that he would have to work.”
Party: Gemma and Kye on a night out
So confident was Gemma in her relationship that even when she found the Father’s Day card she was only momentarily suspicious.
She says: “I know it sounds silly now but I trusted him. He was a great dad to Emma and really hands-on.
"He almost knew better what to do than I did. I thought he was just a natural.”
Desperate to have their first family Christmas, Gemma was ecstatic when Kye announced in September last year that he would not be working.
“I started planning and getting excited,” says Gemma.
“But a couple of days before Christmas he turned around and said he had to work after all. I hit the roof. He’d promised this year would be different.”
Grabbing Kye’s phone, Gemma called his boss.
“I started shouting at him too but he said to me, ‘But Kye’s not working Christmas’.
"I was totally confused. Kye stood there saying, ‘I can’t explain it’.”
After going out for an hour, Kye returned and finally came clean.
“He said he couldn’t do it any more,” says Gemma. “When I asked him what he meant, he told me.
"He had another family. He had a wife and kids.
“I was shaking with shock – I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t want to hear the details. I screamed at him to leave.
“I changed the locks on the doors and blocked his phone. I just felt that I didn’t know this person.
"I felt stupid for not noticing anything – but everyone around me was supportive. They were as confused as I was.”
Play-time: Gemma with daughter
What was hardest for Gemma was explaining to her daughter where Daddy had gone.
She says: “I told her he had gone away for a long time. At first she cried for him a lot.
“How can I ever tell her the truth?”
Seven months on and Gemma still feels angry. “I’ve not heard from him and I guess he’s with his wife,” she says.
“It’s hard to know how I feel when I don’t know why he did it – maybe he did fall in love or maybe I was easy to deceive because I wasn’t the jealous type.
“It’s hard suddenly being a single mum but I would never want Kye’s money. I don’t even want to see him.”
Despite everything, Gemma has started dating again. “It’s early days but he knows what I’ve been through,” says Gemma.
“It’s sad but I’ll never be able to trust anyone like I did ever again.”
Kye says: “I did deceive her. I always wanted to tell her but the timing was never right.
"It’s unfortunate and I’m not proud about it but these things happen.”
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